Slasher School Days: Siren of the Sewers
by Clayton Overstreet
Summary: A chapter from the new book Slasher School Days, where all the horror movie villains go to school together. The homework is murder. Sally Sharp (mass murderer of mass murderers)'s friend C/H.A.D. (a sewer mutant) senses something and needs Sally's help tracking it down. So... Slasher road trip!


**Slasher School Days: ****Siren of the Sewers**

**By, Clayton Overstreet**

**This is a sample chapter from the book "Slasher School Days" currently available from Amazon. If you like it and want more, please buy the book!**

"They say there is someone out there for everyone," C/H.A.D. told Sally. "And I think she's trying to contact me."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard to put into words. But I think someone is calling me. Wants me to come help. I don't have anything specific, just a feeling."

"So why did you want to talk to me about this alone?"

"I need help. My people… they aren't smart. I don't know what I'll find. I need someone skilled to seriously help cover my ass. I don't have any idea how long this'll take, but I get the feeling that whoever it is… they aren't close. Beulah might come when called but she's flighty and not exactly subtle. I think it comes from being beyond caring. I don't trust Harry entirely, since I don't know if what I find might conflict with his protocols and Maiko's sort of dating him. I like her but she scares me and always has some personal plot going on. I don't blame her; she is thousands of years old so focusing on her own agenda makes sense. It just… isn't helpful. Nobody knows for sure what Blue will do. She's trying but she's still alien."

"And me? I'm that predictable?"

"I'm not sure I can trust you to do what's in my best interest, but I can trust you to do what's right. Like I said, something is in my head. I could be being screwed with. You'll stop me from going too far. Your book protects you from that sort of thing, right?"

She smiled. "Oh yeah. There are some very surprised vampires and a couple of overconfident wizards who found that out the easy way."

"Easy?"

"I didn't break a sweat." She considered. "How soon do we have to leave?"

"I've been feeling it for weeks, but I wasn't sure at first and it's been growing stronger. I'm not sure there's a rush, but…"

"Okay. I was taking Halloween week off anyway. Let me have the weekend off and we'll head out on Monday before dawn. Tell me where to meet you."

"There's a manhole on…"

"Oh no. I'm not spending days slogging through the sewers. My windows are tinted. We'll drive most of the way."

"I get car sick," he warned.

"I'll bring a bucket. How's the play going?"

"It's scheduled for a week after Halloween. Slashers are so busy during holidays we didn't want to wait too long. Thanksgiving is basically the main one that most of them take off. I think it has to do with carving the turkey and ham." He sighed. We're just having a little trouble with this one girl. She was the original lead and very pretty until someone put acid in her makeup. She refuses to let anyone, even the nurse see her now, and is running around in a mask trying to sabotage the play. I had to chase her out with a broom yesterday."

"That's show biz," Sally said. "You should see if you can give her another job so she doesn't feel useless. Maybe… something in the band."

"I'll try. Just so long as she stops trying to kidnap the male lead. I mean god, he's not even the love interest."

"You don't mind if I bring a lot of weapons do you? Just incase this is a trap for one of us?"

He shrugged. "If we get pulled over by a state trooper or something they might have a problem with it, but I'm good." He paused. "If this is a trap, wouldn't I have to be apart of it?"

"Not necessarily," she said. "You could be being used."

"If I were and I attacked you… you'd gut me and hang my skin on your wall."

"Actually I'd probably have you made into floor mats for my car." She ran a finger over his left shoulder. "Your skin seems extremely stain resistant…" He slapped her hand away. "Oh did you hear about Mason's mom? He got killed the other day so she put on his mask and clothes and snuck in to take one of his classes for him for a day."

"That's sweet."

"Except she's the one who killed him. Snapped when he wouldn't pick up his laundry, dragged him to the laundry mat near their house, and ran him through the industrial washer and dryer. I hear he was still screaming when he woke up in Scratch's vat."

"Boy's going to need some serious therapy. I don't suppose Sigmund Freud got resurrected as some sort of undead horror?"

"No, but I'm sure there are some slasher/shrinks out there. I've spent time in an asylum and I tell you the doctors had serious issues. Do you know the first time I was put in a straight jacket was because they refused to believe me when I told them the emotional expression hand puppets from group therapy came to life and killed that orderly? Can you believe it? They totally blamed me for the whole thing! It was just like when I was a kid and my brother broke my dad's favorite John Wayne DVD playing Frisbee and somehow they believed him and I ended up getting a spanking and sent to my room."

"You did end up decapitating them. Since they were raising you like a lamb for slaughter you seem awfully upset over this. The last time you saw them they did try to cut your heart out and trade your soul to dark gods. Why is this bothering you so much more than that seems to?"

"You wouldn't understand. It's a human family thing. Some scars run deep my friend. In a lot of ways you're lucky you just had an army of sewer mutants."

"I guess. How did Mason's mom get found out?"

"Well everyone began to suspect when she left the chainsaw in Mason's locker instead of carrying it everywhere and revving it in the hallways. Then she freaked out during Brother Skinner's advanced summoning/banishing class. Apparently she's never seen a demon manifest before. She threw up in her mask. Then the demon sympathy puked. Apparently he'd never seen a woman get vomit all over her face before. That got a lot of the other students going and they splashed all over him and the demon was so disgusted he went back to hell before Skinner could even banish him."

"That's ironic."

"Hey not every demon spends his or her time in the third floor bathroom indulging in their body issues," she said. "I'm not sure which part embarrassed Mason more. Hopefully from now on he'll just pick up his dirty socks."

On Monday Sally met C/H.A.D. on a specific street corner to pick him up in the cool gray light of dawn. He was wearing a nylon hooded jacket and loose pants. She opened the passenger side door and he bent down to look in. The passenger seat and floor were wrapped in a blue plastic taro. A stack of barf bags were also on the seat. He shot her a look.

"You ooze toxic substances," she said. "If you were my elderly grandmother and you had incontinence you would be wearing a diaper. If you were a dog I'd make you ride in a carrier. This car is expensive. It's nothing personal."

He nodded and slid into the seat. "I get the point." The window remained down a rack and she turned on the fan. There were six air fresheners scattered throughout the car and a few spray cans behind the seats. There was also a cooler and from the feel of it something hidden in the seats. C/H.A.D. chose not to mention any of that. He did nowever make a note of the small bucket between his feet.

"So, which way do we go?"

"North, for now."

"North it is. You're the navigator." She pulled out onto the road and started driving. She looked around as they hurried through town. There were Halloween decorations everywhere. "I used to love this holiday when I was a kid."

"Me too. It was one of the few times of year I could wander the streets. As long as I was careful."

"Sorry about that."

"Hey your species rules the planet. The rest of us get that and probably couldn't have done it better. Ants have slaves and wars too. Raccoons knock over trash cans. Apes use tools. If it wasn't you, it would have been something else and my species only exists because of your toxic waste. I was admittedly a little resentful when I was younger, but once you run into ghosts like Beulah or undead slashers and magicians, chosen heroes like you, and aliens, you have to think there really is a higher power out there. Whether it has our best interest at heart is another question, but once you accept they exist, our wants and desires don't matter much."

"Oh I don't know. I try to keep it interesting and I like to think that if I ever get the chance I'll at least take the opportunity to poke whoever is responsible for this universe in the eye."

C/H.A.D. chuckled and said, "You ever think that might be why they keep screwing with you?"

"Just makes me want it more," she said. "Want to bet which side wins?"

"Uh, no thanks. I ain't got a dog in that fight. You do you and all that."

"I swear if you start quoting the Kardashians I will swerve into traffic."

"That would be super awk—" The car began edging towards the line in the middle of the road. "Okay! Okay!" He looked greener than usual. "Just… urp… try not to shake the car too much."

"Just make sure you don't barf on anything. I don't even want to know what you eat when you're at home." She turned on the radio and they drove. "I hope whoever we're looking for is in the state. If it takes more than three days to find I'm going to have to turn back and we'll try this again in December or something with a plane."

C/H.A.D. did not respond. He just tried to ignore the unpleasant humming he heard from the radio speakers. He had already asked enough of Sally. Humans just were not equipped for long times in utter silence. He might not be either, if his people had better conversation skills. Unfortunately they were mostly at about the level of Neanderthals. Not quite animals but not quite ready for a night at the opera either.

After a few hours he said, "It's not that far. I mean we're not too close yet but… it's in the state. I can feel it getting stronger already."

Opening the cooler behind him without looking from the road overly much Sally grabbed two plastic wrapped sandwiches. "Egg salad or ham?" He took the first. C/H.A.D. could eat just about anything. Grow up in a sewer among a species that had not figured out fire yet and you were hardly likely to be picky about such things. Human food was manna from the heavens. She added a can of soda and a fruit juice box to drink or water bottles. He took the juice.

Every now an then C/H.A.D. would pick a way to turn. Not always feasible, but Sally did her best, even when it meant circling around some obstacles. She knew that was not as chatty as most. So she did not ask stupid questions like "What's it like to be a sewer monster?" or "What does garbage taste like?" Eventually though she did ask, "So you got any decent commissions?"

"Sure," C/H.A.D. said. He made decent money doing his art. Maybe they wouldn't feel that way if they knew what his "paint" was made of, but it looked good and was sent via the net, so they never needed to know. "I got a couple hundred for a scene from Jack of All Trades, a popular anime. I was asked to draw a naked woman from the show. I think it's going to be used to make a body pillow."

Sally had a passing familiarity with anime. Even had a few series she watched and followed like some people did comics, sports, or soap operas. Still she had never really had time to get too deeply into the culture. "What's a body pillow?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. A big long pillow usually printed with some anime character. Sort of like a giant plush toy. Sometimes the fans rub off on them like sex dolls."

Sally sighed, "That would be so much less creepy if I didn't know there was a robotic sex doll on campus with a body count and my name."

"Hey it's not like Silicone Sally picked it. Take it up with the company or the mad scientist who designed her. You should take solace in the fact that nobody who had ever tried to use her had survived it. Her whole body is about 90% deathtrap under that anatomically correct covering. I can't even describe what that madman did to her vagina. Though rumor has it she can flip a switch and turn it off." People liked to tell C/H.A.D. things once they got over their initial reaction. He was approachable. "I don't know if she feels anything or not."

"I know the feeling," she said thinking of her own relationship with Ms. Widow. She tried not to over think it. It was fun. It was dangerous. She kept going with it because of the first and tried not to forget the second. C/H.A.D. did not ask what that comment meant.

They were driving through some trees in what she was pretty sure was part of the Pine Barrens, a part of New Jersey that reminded people why it was called the Garden State. The trees were high enough and close enough together to block out a lot of the light. They were on a well traveled road, but Sally knew there were still forests in America, or at least little slices, where sunlight never shown and you had to use your high beams in the middle of the day. At the moment the road was fairly empty and they had not even seen an oncoming car for several minutes.

She glanced at her passenger. It seemed to calm him down. C/H.A.D. was not used to rising in cars. He usually traveled via storm drains and sewer systems. Not that he traveled too far most of the time. Hitting the occasional anime convention was one thing, but he was not exactly summering in the Swiss Alps.

When Sally looked forward again there was a figure in the road. It was a good ten feet tall with huge batwings and glowing green eyes. Its head was shaped like a horse's with a pair of antlers and lots of sharp teeth. Its arms were thickly muscles like a gorilla with claws and its legs were more like they had come off a Clydesdale horse.

It roared; an inhuman sound at first as they approached. Then it became words. "Sally Sharp, give me the book— auk!" Most people might have slowed down or even leaned on the pedal. C/H.A.D. was chattering with fear like a scared chipmunk. Sally smelled urine, glad she had insisted on the tarp.

She just kept driving at a slow pace. Monsters were so self assured. "500 pound gorilla syndrome" she called it. Especially when they could fly. Appear in the middle of the road and people tried to stop or swerve or they might try to slam on the gas and ram it. In the first instance they usually slowed down enough for something supernaturally fast and strong to snatch them right out of their seat. Speed up and they either flew easily out of the way confusing the poor sap in the car, or took the hit in which case you might as well have just crashed into a brick wall.

By keeping to the speed she was going and hitting cruise control Sally had time to gauge the reaction and reach under her seat fro a weapon. It only bought her a few extra seconds, but it was enough to see the hulking beast flex its wings. Oh good, it wasn't able to take a car to the face. There was also a chance it could pass right through solid objects, but there were symbols scratched on the underside of the hood that took care of that. Even better the wings were used to fly, so it did not just use them to steer when it levitated. She hit the button to roll down her window, aimed high with the revolver using her off hand, and pulled the trigger.

No way would she have hit the body once it was in the air. She could not see through the roof. Startled by the realization that she was not going to stop and thrown off by her easy pace that had made it seem like it had a few more seconds to dodge the wings unfurled and shot it into the air like a bottle rocket. In order to pull that move off and keep from just slamming back to the ground though, the wings had to keep flying and large creatures were not like small birds. It took a lot of effort and aerodynamics. Those wings were spread _wide_. Anything man sized or bigger needed very large wings indeed. Several times the length of the body.

Sally fired off five shots, emptying the gun in a random pattern pointed up at the sky. A second later the creature screamed again, this time in shock as solid bullets tore holes in those wings. If she could see she would have aimed for the crotch. Nothing like the look on a flying monster's face as it curled into a ball while several stories in the air. They usually splashed when they landed and that was probably how dragon slayers did it. As it was she just needed to get the fucker back on the asphalt.

The timing was perfect. It hit the ground exactly where it had been before. Only a second before Sally's car reached that same spot. The impact at the very least knocked the wind out of it. Probably did some damage to at least a few bones and maybe even killed it. Either way it spread out flat on the road just before she ran it over.

THUMP-thump-thump. The car jumped on the first one. The barrel chest beast was pretty high and at the speed she was going she got some pretty serious leverage. Only after her back tire cleared it did she slow the car to a stop.

"Hey C/H.A.D., how is it looking?"

He uncurled in his seat, staring at her calm demeanor. Swallowing he turned and looked through the back window. "It looks… oh it's moving."

"Really? In that case we should go back and see if is alright." She put the car into reverse and this time she hit the pedal until it slammed into the floor. Tires squealed and C/H.A.D. let out a shriek as he was almost thrown into the windshield. Thump-crunch-gasping shriek like a kicked puppy-thump-thump. She stopped again and stuck her head out the window. Sliding out a box of ammo from under the seat she reloaded the gun. "Hey buddy, you okay?" The thing moaned. She put the cylinder back into place with a click and rotated it. "We'll go get help." Putting it back into gear she slowly rolled the car forward, taking her time.

The sounds from underneath took longer and were much more… organic. The car also did not rise as much. Bones crackled. Things… squelched. A coughing yelp of pain was cut off. She paused for a moment, letting the full weight of the vehicle settle for a moment and something broke, letting the wheels drop a few inches. Then she drove forward until they were a few feet away. "I'll go check on him."

Sally Sharp. C/H.A.D. had heard the stories that had been on the news. Sally had explained the whole zombie thing. He had even seen her take out a few of their fellow students. Suddenly though it was clear why so many people thought she was capable of every single crime she had ever been accused of. C/H.A.D. had no doubt she tried to only hunt monsters, but seeing her step out of the door and unload into the monster from the door before going near it he was sure her human enemies were lucky they died easier than the monsters did.

Tossing the gun onto the seat she hit the button for the trunk, which popped open blocking his view of the creature. She walked around and he saw a brief flash of a fire ax rise up. Then heard the wet sounds of it chopping away. Saw blood rise up into the air. Heard something roll away. Then the trunk lowered and he saw Sally wearing gloves and wearing a rain slicker splattered with red. She stripped them off and tossed them in with the ax.

As if she had just been stopping to snap a picture she got back into the car, sliding the gun and bullets back under the seat and sat down. C/H.A.D. could see red meat and bone and a neck with no head. He blinked and asked, "Was that… the Jersey Devil?"

"Don't know," she said pulling forward again. Soon they were doing the speed limit once more. "Think I should have asked for his autograph?"

"What happened to the head?"

"Wrapped up in another tarp I have in the trunk. I couldn't fit the whole body in there. When we hit the next town, I'm going to book us two rooms and tonight I'll break into a taxidermist's and mount the thing and then mail it to the school. I think it'll get me extra credit in Home Eek."

"What about the body? I mean something like that… couldn't you make a lot of money?"

"I could except for a few things. First, I can't be known as the girl who discovered a real live cryptid and turned it in. Secret identity, remember? And having people think there are mutants running around Jersey would be bad for you."

"Oh, right," he said.

"I don't need the money. Nobody is going to believe it's supernatural. Hell scientists barely believed the platypus when someone dropped a dead one on their desk. I could turn you in and they'd say you were a homeless bum with a weird skin disease. Believe me, if people were more credulous I wouldn't have spent most of the last year in a straight jacket figuring out how to make dream catchers with my toes."

"Now someone will most likely notice the body, but the shape I left it in they'll probably think it was a deer or something and either ignore it and keep running over it until it looks like a bath matt, push it off into the trees, or call animal control to scoop it up and some guy who scrapes dead skunks off the highway all day will put it in a can and dispose of it. They might send it to a lab if they notice something weird at most it'll get a newspaper clipping stating that an unidentified animal was found on the road. Maybe the area will get a lot of scientists and Bigfoot hunters around for a few months."

"Wouldn't it prove to everyone you were telling the truth?"

"What for? I don't get to stop running C/H.A.D. Ever. You heard that thing. It wanted BOS. In a mental hospital or the celebrity monster hunter who proved the supernatural existed, I'd be way too easy to find. I was still being hunted in the asylum. I'd love to retire to some little cabin in the woods somewhere and ignore the world, but that won't happen. They'll always find me. BOS is too valuable and I can't destroy it. My family had it before I was born and I was raised to be used by it, chosen by some higher power to protect it or be used to unleash Hell, and the only way I get out of it is if I screw up and doom the world by losing it." She smiled. "What just happened? For me that's like checking the mailbox is for most people. The only reason I'm still alive is that not only have I gotten stronger and faster, taking on a little of their power for my own, but I don't even think about it anymore. Even monsters and animals and crazy people, when they attack they think about it. Make plans. Something comes at me and I kill it. No doubts or questions. No thinking. Just muscle memory and instinct. It's how I can beat things that should kill me. That and there are so many warring factions after it that I only see a fraction of them while the rest fight over who gets to come after me next. I don't even ask why they want it any more because if it's to rule the universe or save their people, close the gates of Hell or whatever they'd need to kill me to get it."

"You've been doing this that long? How do you stand it?"

"I know what'll happen if I screw up. Believe me BOS has pictures. It isn't pretty. Besides I'm used to it and I have nothing else. Seriously." She looked at him. "It'd be like taking you out of the sewer and putting you up in a mansion. Nice at first but pretty soon the whole thing would start to freak you out. Or someone would kill you." She shrugged. "I kill whatever comes after me or hurts others who don't deserve it. I know I sound narcissistic acting like I get to choose, but I am the chosen one. It gives me something to focus on, it's a great way to make friends, and frankly if I don't then all the bad shit will either gang up on me or it'll find some other way to end the damn world. I think of myself as the mystical equivalent of a roach motel."

"A what?" Right. She had her gaps in knowledge, he had his.

"A trap. Someone up there set the bait. Maybe they put me where they want me or the other side just finds me. And as long as I do my job—SNAP!"

"And if you break or wear out?"

"Then I take great comfort in knowing that in all likelihood, everyone in the world if not the universe will die with me. The good guys, the bad guys… and probably whoever is responsible for the whole thing when they do something stupid." She giggled. "In the meantime taking a road trip with my good friend the mutant to find the voices in his head helps break up the monotony. Seriously my plans for the week were mostly avoiding spending Halloween with a bunch of slashers and maybe doing a DVD marathon of _Doctor Who_. Not too exciting but it beats my other options of facing a bunch of killers on their favorite day of the year or going back to the funny farm."

"I live in a sewer," C/H.A.D. said at last. "I guess I can't throw stones. God knows what'll splash back on me."

"Hey, do you want the book?"

He looked at her for a full ten seconds before saying, "No way in hell."

"Yeah, I figured as much."

"You're barely eighteen and spent most of the last year locked up. Where did you learn to drive like that?"

She smiled. "Well I sure as hell don't like trying to outrun zombies if I don't have to. Besides, I just took the test to get my CDL. Remember?"

Trying to hold back a smile C/H.A.D. said, "Oh yeah. That."

Slasher School offered driver's education. You had a choice between three vehicles. A steam roller. A black car that tended to rev its engine and open its doors when people approached that they kept constantly booted when not in use. (The teacher, said it was a hybrid. When students invariably asked what kind he told them it was half car and half something else that fed on blood. It got great mileage per gallon and was good for the environment if not anything else.) And finally a huge rusty semi truck with a cow catcher that looked like it had been stripped off an old train and bits of people stuck on the grill. Most noticeably half a skull and a few finger bones.

Sally already knew how to drive a car. It had not been difficult to get her license once she was a legal adult on paper. She had used heavy machinery a few times. Enough that she could get them moving and maybe destroy or bury something without stripping the gears. Useful in certain situations, but overall only then. Being a construction worker was never her idea of fun.

Being a truck driver… always moving… exploring this great country called America that was basically entirely built on a Native American burial ground… that seemed more her. At least it would be an option she would like to have in her pocket. Not that she had a problem seeing the other parts of the world, but frankly the history of anyplace else was not going to be much better. Every town has its ghost stories.

The class was easy. One day during the lunch hour. It seemed too good to be true. Like a trap. So of course she signed up immediately. The way to fight demons is to walk into hell.

The teacher seemed like a nice enough guy. He wore a white button up shirt, black tie, black pants, shiny shoes, and a mask made out of human skin that did nothing to hide his bald spot. He held a clipboard and a counter, the kind usually used to see how many people got on a bus or something. He introduced himself as Buckshot Willy. Sally did not ask why. Around the edges of his mask she could see tiny holes peppering his skin all the way down his neck like he had gone hunting with a vice president. The holes looked like they came from an upward angle. She would guess he could have used Mr. Mangler's class on safely running with weapons.

They climbed up into the cab, the instructor taking the passenger side and both put on their seat belts. "I take it you read the literature and used the simulator so you know all the proper controls? Good. As you can imagine this test is not like the ones at the standard schools. You'll be graded on the standard point system here." He held up the counter. "Each pedestrian is worth two points and each obstacle you avoid without slowing down is worthy five. I expect you to keep it above fifty for the duration."

Sally stared at him. "You expect me to run people down in the street?"

"Street. Sidewalk. Public parks. The route you choose for the next twenty minutes is yours. If you get stopped by the authorities you will of course get a zero." Sally stared at him. "Is there a problem?"

An idea occurred to her so with a smile she reached for the key and turned on the rumbling engine. "No sir, I'm fine." She adjusted a few levers and pulled out. Only instead of turning out into the street, she went the other way, picking up speed and running right over the chain link fence that separated the parking lot from the school. With a wide grin she began driving across the campus, swerving around buildings and actively aiming for any students. People in her path screamed and tried to run. People on the sidelines cheered her on and she honked the horn, the sound echoing through the school. She even managed to clip a surprised Kunai-Sama, sending him flying into a tree with a loud crunch.

"Woops, hope that doesn't affect my grade in his class."

Buckshot Willy just clicked his counter, adding the teacher to the toll. "Watch your speed; you keep slowing down a couple of miles when we're approaching pedestrians."

"Sorry sir."

"It's okay, you're still doing well. You just need practice. Maybe next time you'll take it onto the freeway." Resisting the urge to push the obvious madman out of the car she kept driving. They were a little more than ten minutes into the test when Sally came to a sudden stop. Jerking in his seat the instructor glared at Sally. "Why did you stop?"

She nodded and he turned to see the shadowy black and white figure of Wanda Widow standing off to the side, lifting her dress to show off a shapely white leg and holding out her thumb. When the truck hissed its hydraulic breaks and stopped skidding she came around, walking on tiptoe with her arms raised up letting her boobs and ass jiggle. She was not wearing her veil, but her bangs hung down over her eyes in he same way. It was hard to imagine how she saw anything.

Opening the door Sally said, "Well hello pretty lady. Need a ride?"

"Ooo," Wanda said, playing along. "I've always been so turned on by big rigs. Any chance I can get a lesson?" Without waiting for an answer she climbed up and plopped herself down in Sally's lap, placing her hands on the wheel and making cooing sounds. "Mm, I can feel it vibrating through my whole body."

Pressed back against the seat uncomfortably Sally just smiled as her face was pressed into Wanda's back and tickled by her hair. Reaching around she felt her forearms sink into the sides of Wanda's large breasts and placed her hands over the woman's, careful of her jewelry and nails.

Annoyed Buckshot Willy tapped his clipboard with his pen. "Miss Sharp, we are in the middle of a test here. Unless you are planning to kill Ms. Widow and dump her by the side of the road I'm going to have to dock you several points and have to ask you to kick her out. You only need one instructor for this." Both women turned and glared at him.

Sally said, "I understand sir." She wriggled a bit and produced an ice pick from under her clothing. For the first time Willy's eyes glittered and he smiled too.

Three seconds later the truck's passenger side door opened and a body was tossed out onto the school yard. It was Buckshot Willy, still smiling with Sally's blade buried between his eyes straight through his leather mask. The door quickly slammed shut behind him.

In the cab Ms. Willow settled into the passenger seat. She now held the counter and looked over the clipboard. Buckshot Willy's name on the line for the instructor had been crossed out and replaced with hers. All serious now she said, "Hmm, it seems you've been doing quite well. More than good enough to pass. Should we call it a day?" She peered out the window at the corpse on the ground and clicked the counter, adding him to the tally.

Sally said, "Hold on a second." She moved the gear shift with purpose. "I want to try parallel parking for some extra credit." The truck jerked forward and back. Even over the rumble of the engine they could hear the crunch of bones as the truck moved forward and back over her previous instructor.

Ms. Widow nodded and made the appropriate marks on the paper. "Very nice." Setting it aside she turned and smiled at Sally. "You know I see some effective looking restraints behind the seat. If it makes you feel more secure and you don't mind skipping the meal maybe we could find a way for you to earn a few more points. I wasn't kidding when I said I like the vibrations and that big rigs turn me on."

Sally smiled and revved the engine. "I'll try to impress, Ms. Widow."

After thirty more minutes of the truck rocking back and forth on top of Buckshot Willy's pancaked corpse, Sally got the highest grade of any student in the school's history. Later after a lengthy stay in the school's infirmary Willy filed a complaint, but was summarily ignored and Sally got even higher points. It turned out the school rule for getting perfect grades if you killed the class teacher was true. He then had a surprise heart attack that Dr. Scratch said might have been caused by some sort of untraceable poison and ended up back in the vats again. Buckshot stopped complaining after that and kept his masked head down when Sally walked by.

"Hey there's a signpost up ahead. Do we stop and check it out?"

"You never stop, slow down, or speed up when you're driving past an evil lair," Sally said to C/H.A.D. when he complained the next day. "It's just common sense. And that my friend… is an evil lair."

"How can you tell?"

She looked at the gray windowless stone building surrounded by a high razor wire topped fence covered in signs threatening prosecution to anyone who basically looked at the place for too long. Only one door led inside and it was made of metal with a keypad next to it. There were cameras over the gate and probably a bunch she did not see. A lot of the trees around it looked like they were dying and rotting away. It had three smoke stacks, one of which was billowing thick oily looking fumes. Lots of high voltage wires ran to the top, there appeared to be a cell tower, and a bunch of satellite dishes. From the bottom there were a lot of different pipes. They had not seen another building for miles before and from the look of things there was not one for miles more. The only tire tracks leading up to the gate looked to be from thick all terrain tires, the kind they put on military vehicles meant to survive explosions. The only visible animals were about twenty or thirty ravens in the bare branches of the trees whose beaks followed their car as they drove past, a half rotten deer carcass near the fence, and a trio of vultures who were circling something in the dark woods out back.

"It's the fruit of my life experience." She kept driving and did not alter her speed as they headed for a town that the map in her glove box said was there. "You do not want to attract the attention of whoever is working in there."

"But that's the place," he whined.

"We will be coming back. Tonight, when it's dark and long after they've dismissed us as just another car passing down the road. Places like this can be cleared up very fast if they think they've been compromised. People get terminated, the building gets cleaned out or even blown up, and you're left looking at an empty lot."

"How do you know this?"

"I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you and we don't have time to drive back to school to get you fixed up," she said. She ignored his grumbling as C/H.A.D. stared out the back window like a kid who had spotted a puppy farm and couldn't get his parents to stop. "Any idea what's calling you yet?"

"No, but it's powerful and it's not happy that I'm not already in there."

"Would it be happier if you got shot?" He glared at her. "I'm seriously asking. If this is a trap, it could be trying to lure you in."

"So what do we do?"

"We go to the next town and come up with a plan."

"How?" He asked, frustrated. "How do we infiltrate a facility we know nothing about?"

Sally rolled her eyes and said, "You're right. How am I, the owner of a magical book that tells me the answers to every question I ever ask, possibly going to infiltrate a high security building? We should turn around and go home."

C/H.A.D. stared at her for a moment, mouth hanging open, before he sank back into his seat with the crinkle of plastic and crossed his arms over his chest. "No need to be smug about it."

Resisting the urge to laugh at him she instead made it up for him and bought lunch when they got to the little town of West Fork. The population sign said it contained about two thousand people. From the look of it that might be overstating things and the locals probably made most of their money off the local hunters. Oh and from the guys in the Army-green Humvee loading up groceries from the general store. Sally and C/H.A.D. watched the men in the mud-brown uniforms load up bags and boxes of groceries.

"Should we really be staring so hard?"

"It's cool. A little town like this, we aren't the only ones." Sally dipped a French fry in the little plastic container of barbeque sauce, trying to think too hard about their P.E. teacher as she took a bite.

"Is it a government facility?"

"Nah, but a lot of security people for big corporations like to give that impression. Dress their security guards in the right colors, drive the right vehicles and carry the right guns, and any two bit rent-a-cop can suddenly pass as a fully trained marine. As long as they aren't exactly right and don't actually say it. You know all the nutcases that get kicked out of the military for being too into killing and insistent on becoming snipers or black ops guys and are bulging with muscles from overusing steroids?"

"Our classmates."

"Right. Well private security firms love those guys. So do organized crime and mercenary groups. That isn't necessarily a good thing. Because a wanna-be will do shit a real soldier wouldn't dream of. Sometimes even better. You sneak onto a military base and they'll arrest you. Fuck with those guys and they'll shoot you on sight, torture you for fun, and nobody will ever find your body."

"Makes me wonder what Agent Styx wants with all of us." Sally didn't say anything. "So do we need any special equipment?"

"Yeah, but that'll wait until after dark too. We're going to have to hit a lumber camp near here and steal it. We probably want to wait until shortly before dawn to get to that building anyway. People will be really tired and I doubt they see much action. At most some drunken assholes or teenagers might try messing with it every now and then because there aren't any cows to tip around here."

"You're very disdainful of country life."

"When you've been chased through woods and half deserted towns as much as I have, usually by small town folk, you'll start appreciating a bustling city too." She sighed. "Waiting for dark should be pretty damn boring too. I don't think this town is big enough to have a library. The hotel had cable…"

"I think I saw a movie theater." C/H.A.D. said. "I think it's a little outdated, but could be worse."

"Fine. I could do a couple of matinees. Just... you aren't one of those guys who has to shout at the movie screen are you? Cause Drill lost an arm last week when one of his traps backfired and we had a movie day and everyone in class was shouting 'Go through the door!' 'Yes, run up the stairs!' Or 'Quick run into the abandoned building!' It got old real fast."

"Nope, I'm usually pretty quiet and don't like to attract attention. Besides it seems like a good way to get this nagging voice out of my head telling me to go back and storm that building like a madman."

"All in good time C/H.A.D. All in good time. The good news is, on the way back out there you'll get to drive."

After three movies and another meal of fast food she found the dirt road leading to the logging camp. Since it was a bunch of mostly temporary buildings the security was pretty lax. Mostly some fencing and pad locks. There really were only a handful of kids in town and they went out of town for school and anything fun. So while there had been a couple of dogs and a security guard they were all taken care of by a tranquilizer gun Sally kept in the trunk for perfectly legitimate reasons. The guard would probably not know anything was wrong until they found the stuff missing the next day.

Specifically his car and three cases of explosives and blasting caps used to remove tree stumps. They stuffed it in the guard's car and drove back to town, parking Sally's by the hotel. From the driver's seat C/H.A.D. asked, "Why did we take this guys' Honda?"

"More trunk space, it can't be traced to us, and I sure as hell am not hauling explosives around in my car."

He stared at her. "Is this stuff going to explode?"

"Unlikely. I've used a lot of TNT. This is actually a gel that is way more stable, but harder to come by. I also know how to make explosives and even fuses, but that takes time and salt peter if you want gunpowder. Napalm burns nice but doesn't blow up as easy… mostly you just need soap and gasoline for that. And thermite takes careful measurements of oxidized iron and aluminum. So really the stable high explosives we just stole are the best for assaulting a heavily fortified building."

"You are the Martha Stewart of murder," C/H.A.D. said.

"Actually I've learned a lot in Countess Beyond's class. I'm just a very gifted student with a little more experience than most."

He smiled and shook his head. "Fine. But since I'm driving I pick the station both to and from the facility." He turned on the eighties station.

She punched him in the shoulder. "That's the spirit! Assume we'll penetrate the heavily fortified building and won't be captured or killed in the process by the no doubt highly trained guards. If you die and I make it, I promise to listen to this station in your honor until I ditch this car and peel rubber for the county line in mine."

The trip back was a lot shorter than getting up there had been, only about five miles from the town. Sally told C/H.A.D. to park about a block from the facility and wait for her signal. "Why do I wait in the car?"

"Because when I give the signal I want you to drive this thing through the fence and into anyone trying to kill me."

"What's the signal? Why will they be trying to kill you?"

She rolled her eyes and got out. "Pop the trunk." He did and a moment later she came around with thee explosives and the caps and detonators. "This should answer both of those questions. Just drive towards the fire and aim for anyone trying to shoot me." Without waiting for any more comments she hurried off into the dark.

Sally stopped outside the fence to prepare the explosives. This meant hooking up the part that made them go book and stuffing the rest back into the box. Then poking the fence really quick with her finger because she forgot to check with BOS to see if it was electrocuted. No sparks so… eh, good enough. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out some chain mail gloves, the kind used by butchers for safety reasons, and put them on her hands. Tossing the box of explosives over the fence she climbed it.

As expected the alarms went off as soon as she began climbing. This was why she did not bother cutting and sneaking in places like this. Better to be fast. One day maybe she could learn how to disarm security systems rather than just ignoring them as she caused massive destruction.

Thankfully the loud noise did very little good since it was a skeleton crew and those actually in charge of finding her would be hearing nothing but noise. In fact it was probably drowning out the radios at the moment so she was good for at least getting over the razor wire. Using everything she had learned in gymnastics and ballet class when she was ten with her superhuman strength and speed she slipped her hands through the curled blades and flipped over to land on her feet. As always she had on a decent pair of sneakers. Wanda may have taught her to dress in high end clothes, but even if she had been at a fancy party she would still be wearing running shoes.

Sally picked up the box and headed to the spot in the wall BOS had indicated would lead to a hallway and bypass all the security checkpoints, preferably without collapsing the whole building. A possibility she had not mentioned to C/H.A.D. since he might try to stop her. Sally was usually of the opinion that burning the evil mansion or whatever down from the outside along with whatever was inside was usually a good thing and if that happened she would rather not have him know. Hopefully either way she could get this done and get out of the way without anyone being the wiser. She figured she had at least three or four minutes before anyone found her.

"Freeze!" She turned and saw a twitchy guy who looked like he mainlined steroids with a gun. As in he was so muscle bound and covered in veins he probably snorted them trough the barrel of his gun.

"Explosives," she said holding up the box. His eyes widened as he saw the words "High Explosives" stenciled in the side. "I drop these and we go up along with half the state of New Jersey."

"Give them to me."

"No."

"I'll shoot!"

"Oh right. I really hope you didn't think that threat through." She suddenly threw the box at him. He screamed, dropping the gun, and tried to catch it. Since it weighed about fifty pounds and nobody practiced with medicine balls any more that did not go well. He hit his ass on the ground still screaming, though it changed as she assumed the pine box cracked a couple ribs. Sally stepped forward and punched him in the face, shutting him up. That tended to happen when you had a pound of metal on your hand and some mild superhuman strength and speed. She pulled it to keep from tearing off his head. Checking her watch she said, "Damn it."

He was human. Probably just doing his job. As a general rule… more of a guideline really… even when they were assholes she tried not to kill humans who had not actively tried to kill her first and he had not pulled the trigger. A lot of cultists would have, along with possessed people, and a lot of other things. She had no idea if getting blown up would have permanently killed her, especially since she had left BOS back in the hotel room with the TV on, but had no doubt anyone after the book would have tried.

Muttering about wasting time she dragged him around the corner of the building, dropping him where two walls met. Then went back and got the remote for the detonator. Kicking the box up against the wall she went back to join him, covering her ears. She could have covered his, but had no desire to sit on his ugly face and given there was something funky going on inside that he was at least working for, decided sparing his life was good enough. Saving him from hearing loss was above and beyond.

Beep! BOOOOOOOOOM!

Kevin the Troll was working on a computer. It was hooked up to a 3D printer. His fingers flew over the keyboard and the image of the puzzle twirled on the screen. Bits of it still unfinished but a few more seconds and he would have it. Kevin did not know why he had not tried this before. Assembling it piece by piece had taken forever and he had forgotten so much along the way. Man it was complicated.

This was so much easier. The skull shape was taking place and he could test the bits to make sure everything was working. He was pretty sure even the image of it was making the walls ripple, like they could burst open into a thousand different worlds any second. Voices whispered in the back of his head making promises of pleasures and pains beyond mortal comprehension. Rewards that slashers had been working for since Cain first clubbed Abel over the head, metaphorically speaking.

He smiled, his face lit by the light of his computer screen as the puzzle was complete. The room shook and he extended his hand to push the button that would begin its creation as a real physical thing and finally wipe out this flawed dream humans thought of as reality. The machine was already warmed up and ready, smelling of chemicals and heated plastics.

Suddenly the lights and wall socket all sparked and without warning the monitor exploded sending shards of glass flying into his face as the computer itself caught fire. He screamed but was cut off when the 3D printer exploded. It sprayed him with half melted materials from inside, covering his face in a thick coating of molten plastic that cut off his air supply as it boiled his skin.

As death claimed him again he mentally cursed. It probably would not have made him feel better knowing that because of an explosion in a small out of the way facility in the middle of the woods that had been hooked up to way too much high end equipment a power surge had blown the power for half of the state. Unfortunately because of what he had been trying to do his own computer had been drawing on both mundane and supernatural powers so the effect was a little more severe.

Karma had not helped either.

Sally was, as expected, already being shot at when C/H.A.D. drove through the fence into the tight group of heavily armed men firing at her. She had ducked into the gaping hole left by the blast and they were all gathered together to minimize the chance of shooting each other. Now their stolen Honda was in the middle of six guys who were either dead or dying.

Stepping out of the car C/H.A.D. said, "You remember when we came to you to make sure we didn't become mass murdering psychos?"

She shrugged. "You're the one who said there was something going on here. What, am I supposed to wait for proof? I'm not the cops and you're my friend. I trust you. If it turns out you were wrong then it's on you. If you're setting me up I'll gut you and this is still on you."

"That's your definition of a friend?"

She nodded. "Someone you can vaguely count on until they're possessed by evil and you have to put them down or someone who kindly shoots you in the head when you get bit by a zombie."

"Don't you mean 'if' you get bit by a zombie or possessed?"

"Not so far, but I'm young. It could not happen for once. Come on. Let's find whoever is poking you in the cerebellum before any more guards get here. I mean I doubt there are more here now, but likely somebody is calling the day shift."

Stepping around the growing pool of blood and twitching bodies Sally let C/H.A.D. lead the way. They soon came to a staircase leading down to another door. This one with no obvious security features since it was assumed anyone making it this far was supposed to be there. So they ducked down and opened it. C/H.A.D. whispered, "We should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

"Hello? Is someone there? Who is it?" Various voices called out. Sally and C/H.A.D. shared a look and rolled their eyes. Civilians. "What the hell happened to the power?"

The lights were actually on down here. Though they wee florescent and flickering a bit. The place was a mess. It looked like a morgue, complete with those little horizontal freezer shelves. Also a few vats not unlike Dr. Scratch's lab. They were full of green fluid with silhouetted shapes inside.

The figure on the metal table in the middle of the room surrounded by men and women in lab coats looked exactly like C/H.A.D., only about half the size and a little cuter. Or somehow more hideous because they were just that much more human looking. A child. With his torso cut open to show a bunch of really strange looking organs.

C/H.A.D. let out s chattering shriek at the sight and twelve people, one of them with bloody gloves and a scalpel turned and stared wide eyed. A woman screamed. "It's a C/H.A.D.! It'll kill us all!"

C/H.A.D. seemed to be all for that, stepping forward with a snarl on his lips when Sally slapped a hand on his chest. "Hold on buddy. We need them to answer questions first."

"You… you can control it?" One of the doctors asked.

"Not for long," she said quickly, shooting him a look. He took the hint and hissed at then through bared teeth. "They are fiercely loyal to their own kind. He could slip my hold any moment. So you should talk quickly so my friend and I don't feel the need to stick around."

"What do you want to know?" The guy with the scalpel asked.

"What are you doing with the C/H.A.D.s?"

"We're trying to help them." He sounded serious.

She looked at the body "That is your idea of helping?"

"We're working on it. They… they're horribly deformed. Our predecessors wanted to destroy them. Since the buy out the new owners have realized that by now they've spread too much. They could never find them all. Their physiology is so different they can't even be sure killing them is possible any more. So they decided to cover up in a more humane way." Sally looked at the body again and waited. "We were hired to fix their DNA. We are creating our own breed to introduce into the population and increase their intellect and return them to human appearance. As such we needed test subjects."

"You idiots." They all turned to C/H.A.D. and several of them gasped.

"It can talk!?"

"Still evolving," he said with a smirk. "Who knows? That boy on the table might have too, if you hadn't killed him."

"We didn't know…"

"There's a lot you didn't ask," he said. "Or check. No, it's kill it or change it to make it pretty. Bah! Humans! We should wipe you all out."

"Ahem," Sally said. "Just who would you be?" C/H.A.D. turned and looked at her. "I can't help but notice your voice has gotten a little more feminine."

"They never gave me a name. Just sealed me away when they couldn't control me." C/H.A.D. face contorted and he shook his head. His voice dropped a few octaves as he said, "She's in my head!"

"She…" One of the women gasped and looked at scalpel doctor. "It can't be…"

Sally glared. "Speak up. Now."

"One of our test subjects. We don't know how or why but she developed… powers. Strange abilities. She almost killed a dozen people before they put her down. She was too powerful to destroy so we put her into stasis."

"I told you we were getting brainwave readings," one of the other doctors hissed.

"Where is she?" C/H.A.D. asked.

"No, you can't let her out. It's too dangerous. She'll kill us all."

"You're cutting up children in a basement and performing evil experiments. You're lucky I haven't killed you yet," Sally said. She looked at C/H.A.D. and said, "For the record, I consider guys like these a cult. Science, magic, religion… all ways to try explaining a world that'll never really make any sense and somehow always lead to cutting out somebody's heart."

"Superstitious clap-trap," the scalpel guy snapped.

"Blasphemy!" Sally replied with a laugh. "Gods I swear, stick you in a black suit and a white collar and you'd have the congregation singing halleluiah. Didn't scientists prove that everything we see is a figment of our imagination? So how can you say what's real? What the rules are?"

C/H.A.D. didn't care. "Where is…?" He trailed off. "Ah." He scurried towards the vats. One of the doctors moved to stop him only to be grabbed by Sally.

"My friend is busy," she said. "I wouldn't mess with him."

"She'll kill us all," he whispered, real fear in his voice.

"We never could understand what went wrong or why the process wasn't working," the leader said. "It should have worked. Physically… at least on the outside, it seemed to. They got smarter. Better looking. After the first time none of the others got the powers. That was a fluke. But…"

Without looking back C/H.A.D. said, "It's because we were never human to begin with."

"What?" Even Sally was surprised, letting the scientist go to stagger away.

"I just tell people we were homeless people exposed to those chemicals. It gets you more sympathy than saying we were bats or moles or rats or something. I'm not sure what but we were never human. We just look vaguely like you. Parallel evolution."

"Of course, that's why we couldn't correct the sequence. Why things kept going wrong. We were trying to bring them back to a state they never… dear god, what have we done?"

The answer to that came a moment later as C/H.A.D. pressed a few buttons. A moment later the vats began to empty revealing their contents. They did look human. Female humans. Not bad looking either. They were still green and their ears were large and thin. Their teeth inhuman and rodent-like. Claws on their hands. If you were into anthropomorphic characters they were nice enough and far better than the standard C/H.A.D. if the one she knew and the kid on the table were any example. They could certainly pass.

They woke up angry. A second after the green ooze drained away they broke out of the vats in showers of glass, still dripping the weird ooze. One in particular, a little taller and more human looking than the rest, stepped out slowly and the others moved around her bent over and glaring at the scientists.

"Humans," she hissed.

"No, you can't, we created you! You must obey us."

Sally winced. "Wrong thing to say pal."

Suddenly the leader took his scalpel and jammed it into his own eye, falling over. The woman who had spoken earlier suddenly exploded… or her head did. "You're monsters!" Then the others raced forward, tearing into them like they were paper dolls. A couple tried to run. It just attracted attention.

Sally watched almost indifferently. She had seen this coming. So she was the last they turned on, though it was clear they planned to eat her. They only hesitated because she was showing no signs of fear.

Before they could attack C/H.A.D. put himself between her and the pack. "Stop!"

"Are you protecting it?" the tall one hissed.

"No, I'm protecting you," he said and motioned to Sally. "She'll kill you."

"She's just a human!"

"Barely," he said. Sally considered arguing but shrugged. Didn't seem worth debating. "If you attack her she will skin you all alive before your corpses hit the ground."

"Mistress?" One of them asked, unsure whether to attack or not.

She looked at Sally through narrowed eyes. It was true the animal part of her was screaming that the human in front of her was unbelievably dangerous. Not only that but she had been trying to explode its head since the last one popped. Nothing was happening. The decider was what Sally said next.

"Oh good, they can all talk. I won't have to feel bad about killing dumb animals then. I always feel bad when they sick some poor dog on me and I have to kill it."

"Read my mind," C/H.A.D. said quickly. "See if I'm telling the truth." The female C/H.A.D. did and after a moment her eyes widened. She turned and threw up in the corner. C/H.A.D. looked at Sally. "Remember what you did to Janelle 'Heart Ripper' Cooper?"

"I was on the rag and she did say she would cut out my heart."

"She thinks you're cute."

"Oh… well that explains things. Can't believe I didn't pick up on that. Of course it's probably for the best since her idea of love involves using a steak knife as a sex toy… huh. I thought she enjoyed what I did too her a little much between the screams. When we get back I should probably explain that I'm flattered and all, but that I'm just not into her. Maybe she'll stop stalking me across campus so much."

"That or she'll try harder to cut off your head and take it home to sleep with."

"Or that." The females were watching them chat, looking confused.

The leader wiped her mouth staring at them and said, "Stand down girls. They… aren't here to hurt us. The cute one came to help."

"The cute one?" Sally asked. She liked C/H.A.D. but...

He snorted. "We're smell oriented, not sight. It's all pheromones, baby. Among my species, I'm a super model." He stepped forward to look up at the tall one. "What can I call you?"

"They never gave me a name."

"Her name is Ginger," Sally said. "The short one next to her is Mary-Ann, that one is Fran, those two over there that look sort of like twins are Oreo and Cookie, and that last one is Angelina Francesca Juanita Georgette Victoria. Vicky for short."

"Who are you to name us human?"

"Exactly," she said. They blinked in surprise. "Now by now we've got a security team on the way here and possibly more coming in by helicopter. My suggestion is we steal their all terrain vehicle and get you ladies out of here and back to the C/H.A.D. nest where some very nice but not too bright boys will be waiting for you. Or you can keep up this pissing contest with me knowing what humans have done to every other intelligent species that has ever walked this planet. Here's a hint: we actually like dolphins and some of us still eat them. I personally try to be better, but as C/H.A.D. said, I don't take kindly to people who try to kill me and if you're going to hold us up until we're stuck here when those asshole show up anyway, genocide might start seeming like a valid option to me."

There was a pause as they thought about it and then Ginger nodded. "Very well. Lead us to freedom."

Not pointing out that they were going to be swapping a pretty sterile lab for a sewer Sally nodded and motioned for them to follow her. Three seconds later Mary-Ann's head was rolling across the floor and the others were backing away from her. "C/H.A.D., your girlfriends are making a good argument for being too stupid to let live."

He looked between them and her and then nodded. "Agreed."

"You would take her side?" Ginger asked.

"I like living," he said. "The fewer of you there are the more room in the car on the ride back home. I'm totally willing to give the scientist's breeding program a try, but if you keep attacking Sally Sharp… I don't see it as an improvement on our mental capacity every time she kills one of you for attacking her. Instant Darwin Award. The rest of our kind is not that bright but they know better than to screw with her." He and Sally headed for the door again, not turning around. "Consider this you chance to prove you're worth keeping in the gene pool."

A moment later the others nervously followed.

Several weeks later they were having snacks after the successful performance of _Chicago_. Most of the mutants had stayed home. The girls were a little nervous of the outside world and wanted to stay with their men who were not exactly house broken. Sally was not a hundred percent sure letting them breed stronger smarter mutants was a great idea, but was willing to give it a chance. How much worse than humans could they be?

It was a nice wrap party. A few of them had even brought dates. Wanda was hanging off of Sally's arm. She was invited despite not being in the play and nobody had dared argue about it. They were serving various finger foods and a bowl of punch and someone had sprung for bottles of sparkling cider. Nobody really wanted to be in a room with drunken slashers.

C/H.A.D. had Ginger on his arm. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that Sally had actually helped pick out. After weeks of being free she had mellowed some. Still everyone was a little nervous around her. C/H.A.D. was asking what she thought of the play. "It's the best one I've ever seen."

"Yes, but you were raised in a lab." She frowned. "Not that that is a bad thing. One of my best friends popped out of a government laboratory."

Sally saw the lead actor had a girl with him wearing a shirt with his face on it. He looked familiar. She saw Sally looking and leaned happily against him. "Do you go to this school?"

"No, I'm just here to see my boyfriend Lyle."

"How did you two meet?"

"When he was in prison. I used to write to him. He has such a way with words. Then I helped him escape."

"It was love at first site," Lyle said.

"Uh huh." She saw another actress, the one who had played the warden, with a man in an S&M outfit on a leash. His mouth was gagged with a red ball. "And are you here of your own free will?"

"Answer her, scum," the girl snarled and kicked him. He nodded emphatically.

"If she's holding you against your will just say the word?" There was a pause and he looked between Sally and his mistress. Then he slowly shook his head. "You sure?" He nodded.

The girl dragged him away. "Mm, good boy. Someone's earned back his bucket."

Sally was not sure how she felt about that, but she had tried. Sometimes that was all she could do.

Across the room she noticed Scooter McDonald, the inbred hillbilly slasher. He had been in the play and had a surprisingly good singing voice. Currently he had his freakishly shaped but muscular arm around the waist of one of the most beautiful women Sally had ever seen. She looked Native American and like she just stepped out of the pages of a girly magazine. She was kissing Scooter's lopsided mouth and rubbing up against him, with full on tongue actions and no little groping on both sides. She really seemed to get into it and when they broke up Scooter said, "Yeah, bloody!"

"Who is she?" Sally asked.

"His mother/sister/aunt/cousin/grandmother," Wanda said. "She came to support him in the play… and apparently afterwards."

Sally blinked. "What… the… actual… fuck? She's gorgeous and looks like she's twenty!"

"I know. Her parents/siblings were surprised too. I think that's why they eventually ate her mother and used her as a replacement for their little clan. Genetics gets weird sometimes. Looks like they're going to have another little inbred kid soon. I saw a baby bump." Meanwhile Wanda had noticed a young girl in a blue flower dress. She couldn't have been more than nine or ten. "And who are you little lady?" Wanda asked.

"I'm Molly Casey."

"And are your parents here?"

She shook her head. "Uh-uh. I'm on a date."

"You are?'

"Yes. Mr. Felix picked me up after school today in his ice cream truck and took me shopping for a pretty dress. He says when we're done he'll take me home and we'll play games and I can stay in his yard with all the other little girls. It sounds fun. He says my mommy and daddy won't even miss me."

Wanda shared a look with Sally. "Oh that's not true. I think he must be fibbing. How about you and I go call your mommy and check? Do you know her number?" She nodded. "Great. Well we'll call her to come get you and wait outside by the bus stop until she does. You don't want to be late for dinner and Mr. Felix is going to be occupied for a while." She looked at Sally. "I'll keep her safe."

Sally had never seen Wanda hurt a child. It was not her victim profile. Besides she had something she needed to do so she nodded and then smiled at Molly. "Sweetie, I should go tell Felix that you're leaving so he doesn't worry. Did you see where he went?"

She nodded. "Uh huh. He went to the bathroom to clean up. He said he wanted to look good when we got back to his house."

"I'm sure." She patted the little girl on her head. "You tell your mommy all about Felix when you see her."

"Okay." Sally wandered over to the snack table and picked up a mostly empty bottle of cider. She angled it a certain way and brought it down on the edge of the table, breaking off the bottom and leaving a ragged ring of glittering glass. "Wow! How did you do that?"

"There's a trick to it. Never try it at home. You do it wrong and you can end up with a hand full of broken glass and be hurt very badly, understand?" The girl nodded and she turned to Wanda. "You get her home. I'm going to find Felix and teach him another trick with this broken bottle. You might want to walk a bit further than the nearest bus stop though."

Wanda nodded. "You've got it. I'll be right back as soon as she is safe."

Sally nodded and as they left headed purposefully to the men's room. She opened the door and saw a normal looking kid in a suit combing his hair in the mirror. "Felix?"

He looked up smiling. "Yes?" Then he saw who it was. "Hey this is the men's… room…" Sally stepped in and got a good grip on the bottle, her eyes locked on Felix like an angry dog straining against its chain.

"I hear you brought a date."

He smiled nervously and held up his comb. It was metal. Lots of tines and the handle was thin, coming to a point. Not a bad weapon. "Yeah, um, I wasn't going to do anything with her. I just… I needed a date and…"

Sally smiled. "Oh is that all? That's good."

"It is?" Hope flickered in his eyes.

She nodded. "It means you didn't have any actual plans for your lips or genitals tonight. You won't be needing them."

He narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

She smiled wider and stepped inside, the door closing behind her.

About five minutes and a lot of high pitched screaming later something flopped out of the bathroom window with a wet plop. Then a pained whimper that was suddenly cut off with a wet scream followed by the sounds of someone casually washing their hands.

Sally stepped out of the bathroom a minute later and cheerfully walked over to where C/H.A.D. was drinking a glass of cider. He looked up at her and asked, "Having fun?"

"I'm feeling good."

"Does it bother you that you get cheered up by committing violence on people?"

"It probably should. And might if they were people. Speaking of… isn't it a bit soon to be bringing your girl out to a mixer like this?"

He smiled. "Oh I think she can handle it. She's a psychic mind reader. I'm sure she can get the social cues down. Ginger really wanted to see the play." He cleared his throat. Or made some noise in his species' language. It was hard to tell. "I wanted to thank you again for taking me out there and for helping all of us. It was really something."

"Not really. One of these days, remind me to tell you how I spent the July before this one. Now _that_ was intense."

"Sally knowing you I'm not sure I _want_ to know what you did last summer. I just want you to know that I appreciate what you did for me this October. You're a good friend and you may have helped my whole species."

"Hey, any time. You know provided you guys don't rise up to destroy humanity. Until then just don't kill and/or eat innocent citizens and we're golden."

Suddenly there was some shouting. A fight had broken out near the snack table. Not surprising. Fights broke out all the time among the slasher students. Often for no reason. But a girl in a Phantom of the Opera mask was trying to strangle another girl whose fake vampire fans were half out of her mouth as she punched back. The masked girl threw her across the table sending the punch bowl flying and splashing all of it right over Ginger.

She gasped and looked down at herself. Then her head snapped up and she snarled at the two girls. "You… ruined… _my dress!_"

Suddenly it was like they were all standing in the middle of a hurricane. The doors slammed shut and snacks flew into the air, followed by the two girls. Everyone else had trouble just staying on their feet. The stage curtains burst into flames and Ginger rose up into the middle of it, floating with her arms out as she focused on the two responsible for her fashion faux pas.

"Okay, maybe she wasn't ready to appear in public yet," C/H.A.D. admitted reluctantly as they were sprayed with blood.


End file.
